


the first summer in 8 years

by wasd



Category: Buzz (Korea Band), 아는 형님 | Knowing Bros | Ask Us Anything
Genre: Alternate Reality, First Kiss, M/M, Rock and Roll, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-20 12:46:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14894897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wasd/pseuds/wasd
Summary: in which Buzz is an indie rock band, and the universe is trying to tell Heechul something (if only he would listen).





	the first summer in 8 years

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by [these](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3xlCSpz3r4) [kyunghoon](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_hYa9klg_A) [and](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puMwU8FK0xs) [buzz](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7zAvLUecyE) [performances](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjY1JrIcFsA).
> 
> everything i know about music recording and the indie rock scene is at least 10 years out of date. lee hyuk used to be in norazo, which junki played bass for during the 8-year buzz hiatus. fun fact: lee hyuk contributed backing vocals to buzz's song 동행. title from buzz's [first post-hiatus single](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTeLtgnF5x4).

Junki was, by far, Heechul's favorite session bassist for M&D, a chill dude who hadn't been fazed when Heechul introduced himself as "Universe Big Star Kim Heechul" during their first meeting. Had been calmly accepting whenever Heechul's celebrity life intruded into their studio time, from random SuJu members dropping by, or last-minute schedule reshufflings due to show filmings running overtime.

Despite wearing a wedding ring, Junki was mysteriously always available at 3 a.m. to lay down some basslines. Curious, Heechul asked him, "Doesn't your wife mind that you're leaving your home for this?"

"Nah," Junki said easily, "she's an artist herself. Usually up at all hours in her studio," and tapped his heavily-tattooed arm for emphasis. "Besides, she's used to my long hours. You guys are nothing compared to when my band's practicing."

Heechul had distantly known that Junki had his own band—was in fact so good at bass that it would be criminal if he weren't—but this was the first time Junki had mentioned them.

As if reading Heechul's mind, Junki said, "We're called Buzz. Our first agency was a mess, so we never really got to debut. We've been releasing music independently for—" he regarded the ceiling thoughtfully "—13 years? Give or take a few years of army service. Oh, and our drummer just finished grad school abroad, so we went on hiatus until he came back."

The idea of stopping all music activities just because one guy wasn't there was incomprehensible to Heechul. "Eh? Couldn't you have found a temporary drummer while he was gone, make sure there's something for him to come back to?"

Jungmo snickered. "Kyunghoon put you guys up to it, didn't he? It sounds like something he'd make you pinky-promise to do." 

_Pinky promise?_ Heechul thought. 

Junki merely grinned, shrugging, and fingerpicked an improvised bass solo.

*

To Heechul's annoyance, the one day in the week he was free to track vocals, Jungmo had a sudden all-day schedule in Busan that he couldn't excuse himself from. 

"Fuck, that's my only free day for the next two weeks," Heechul complained, when Jungmo broke the news over the phone. "I wanted this track done so we can move on to rest of the album."

"Don't cancel your studio booking, though," said Jungmo. "I'm texting Junki-hyung now, he says he can come in to oversee the recording." There's a brief pause, then, "he says he can bring in someone who specializes in tracking vocals to help out, if you want."

Heechul would have preferred _Jungmo_ there, but. Needs must. "Fine," he conceded. "I'll call A &R to prepare the agreements for Junki's guy. You owe me a drink when you get back to Seoul."

Jungmo snorted. "Who knows, hyung, maybe Junki-hyung can get Lee Hyuk-sunbaenim to assist, and we can finally achieve our dream Norazo collaboration."

*

Junki was already at the studio when Heechul arrived for the recording. The guy he brought wasn't Lee Hyuk—even if Heechul didn't know Lee Hyuk personally, he knew enough to be sure that Lee Hyuk didn't go around wearing pink sweaters and cheese-patterned blue socks. Junki's sweater-and-socks guy was having a low, intense conversation with the studio engineer by the soundboard. Huge fuck-off headphones and a fringe of straight dark hair obscured most of his face.

Heechul turned to Junki. "Hi, hyung, sorry for the last-minute call. Blame Jungmo."

Junki nodded. "No problem. You guys are lucky that Kyunghoon and I don't have a gig today."

At the sound of his name, the guy—Kyunghoon—stopped talking to the engineer and looked up, pulling the headphones off, and for the first time, Heechul could see his face. And. Did Junki tell him that his guy would be such a stunning visual? Heechul would have remembered it if he did. He blinked, belatedly noticing he'd taken half a step back at the sight of him.

Kyunghoon gave a polite bow. "Hello, I'm Min Kyunghoon, Junki's friend from Buzz." His voice was guarded but soft, matching his shirt and the delicate rims of his glasses.

Internally shaking himself, Heechul bowed back. "I'm Heechul." He was so discomfited that he didn't notice Junki eyeing him appraisingly. "You guys got the guide track I sent over e-mail, right? I already rehearsed this with Jungmo a couple of weeks back, so we can go straight into the master recording."

"We'll be tracking your backup vocals too?" Junki asked.

"Yeah," Heechul said. "Jungmo might come in later to do additional recording if we're not satisfied, but for now it's just me." He rubbed his hands together, stealing a last look at Kyunghoon. "Shall we?"

*

To Heechul's pleased relief, the recording went smoothly, notwithstanding Jungmo's absence. His voice was cooperating today, with nary a crack to be heard and holding steady through the trickiest parts of the verses.

Junki was a steady hand throughout the session, telling Heechul to make his voice louder over the jangling guitars, or to pronounce certain lyrics in a slightly different way to hit the right mood. Through the glass partition, Heechul sometimes noticed Kyunghoon leaning towards Junki, whisper something in his ear, but Heechul never saw him use the talk-back controller.

After they finished one full take, Heechul gestured for a time-out. He left the booth and made his way back to the control room, sinking gratefully into a chair. Too much standing still in one spot made his knee act up. Kyunghoon handed him a bottle of water in such a charmingly old-fashioned way, left hand under right arm, that Heechul nearly missed the pass, almost dropping the bottle on his crotch. Clearing his throat, Heechul muttered, "thanks," and chugged half of the water in one go.

The engineer signaled that the track was ready for monitoring. As it played, Heechul mentally marked out what he wanted to re-record, and saw that Kyunghoon was doing the same on the lyric sheet. To his surprise, the parts Kyunghoon was underlining synced with most of Heechul's mental revisions.

"Good job," Junki said after the last note faded away. "Comments, Kyunghoon?"

Kyunghoon pushed his glasses up with the back of his hand and flicked a glance at Heechul that he couldn't interpret. He pushed the lyric sheet with his markings towards Heechul, tapping at the middle eight, saying, "Your voice blended in too much with the instruments here. Maybe if, um, you try it with a bit of vibrato, it will stand out more?"

Heechul replayed that bit in his head, then attempted a vibrato. From the look on Kyunghoon's face, it was NG. He tried it again. Still NG.

Junki nudged Kyunghoon companionably. "Why don't you demonstrate so that Heechul knows what you want him to do?"

Kyunghoon opened his mouth, and sang the first four bars. He sang so quietly Heechul had to lean forward to hear him properly, but even muted, his rich vibrato jolted through Heechul like the crackle of static electricity. Heechul bit the inside of his cheek hard enough to hurt and forced himself to admit, "I hate to break it to you, but I definitely can't sing like that, even though I do have a great Jo Sung Moo-sunbaenim impersonation." 

"Oh, but, Heechul-sshi," Kyunghoon said earnestly, "you have such a nice voice. It's really good."

Heechul stared hard at him. Maybe it was the effect of the glasses, but Kyunghoon appeared 100% sincere with his compliment. It was one of the most disarmingly refreshing things Heechul had ever seen. "I've got a decade's worth of back catalogue that says otherwise, but thank you."

"Junki-hyung told me this is only your second album," Kyunghoon replied, which as a statement didn't make any sense, unless— Heechul spun in his chair to shoot Junki a bewildered look. "Hyung, did you tell him that I'm from Super Junior?"

Junki hid his face in his hands, shoulders shaking with suppressed hilarity. "He's a pop culture dummy, I'm sorry."

*

Once they got everything cleared up—Heechul confirming that he was a member of one of Korea's most successful boy groups and not some rookie singer ("I know who Super Junior are," Kyunghoon sulked, "There's just so many of you that I got confused."); Kyunghoon admitting that his knowledge of pop music past the '90s didn't extend beyond girl group songs popular in the army—they managed to move on to the rest of the suggestions for the next round of recording. Kyunghoon didn't try to compliment Heechul again, which was a relief, but he didn't demonstrate any more singing beyond those four bars, which remained in Heechul's ears, a clear and lovely echo.

In the booth, Heechul had to summon Lee Sooman's regal calm as a restraint from attempting to provoke Kyunghoon into speaking into Heechul's headphones. _You're a professional,_ he told himself, _have some dignity._ He had to stifle his disappointment when the second take went perfectly and Kyunghoon had no more notes for him.

When everyone finished thanking each other for a good recording, Junki told Heechul, "I already told Jungmo, but I won't be able to work with you anymore." He jerked a thumb at Kyunghoon. "He's way too possessive, doesn't like me playing for anybody else."

"I never said anything like that. I only said that I hoped they appreciate your talents, hyung," Kyunghoon protested, propping his fists on his waist. A fetching pink crept up his cheeks, in the same shade as his sweater.

Watching them bicker goodnaturedly, Heechul felt a pang for his own dongsaengs, and vowed to round up some of his members for a dinner soon. 

"Anyway, good luck with the next M&D album," Junki said, shaking his hand. "I'll look forward to it. Meet you downstairs, Kyunghoon?" And with that, Junki ducked outside, already on his phone, leaving Heechul alone with Kyunghoon.

Kyunghoon said, "Um, I hope I was of help today. I told hyung I'm not good at this."

"No," Heechul quickly told him, "you were great—it was great. You deserve a shout-out in our next liner notes."

Kyunghoon was nice enough to smile at Heechul's meaningless remark, dimples creasing his cheeks, but something in his body language remained restive, unsure. After another bow, he left, and it was as if the energy in the room fled with him, the lights a little dimmer, the air a little colder. 

Heechul stared at the door, puzzled why it felt like he'd let something important slip from his grasp.

*

Heechul meant to look up Buzz, especially because he was sure (despite neither Junki nor Kyunghoon mentioning it) that Kyunghoon was their vocalist. But suddenly calls came in for a proposed JTBC variety show with Kang Hodong(!) and Lee Soogeun(!!!), and finding the songs Junki mentioned slipped down, and then disappeared from, his overloaded to-do list.

*

_Buzz is playing in Hongdae tonight. You free, hyung?_

*

As he and Jungmo plowed their way through the chattering mass of college students and young professionals, Heechul spared a moment to be grateful that Jungmo insisted that he take his face mask off before they went inside, pointing out the unlikely possibility of sasaengs lurking among this bunch of music hipsters. It was sweltering inside the venue, people were yelling at each other in order to be heard over the piped-in rock music, everything reeked of spilled booze and cigarette smoke and sweat—but Heechul could nearly taste the suppressed anticipation in the air, all directed towards the dimly-lit stage, crowded with technicians setting up equipment.

"Here we go. This is the spot Junki-hyung recommended," Jungmo said, leading Heechul to an open space near the front. It was satisfyingly close to the stage, but not to the speakers, and there was even a pillar to duck behind if the crowd got too rowdy. Heechul saluted Jungmo, and, for his hard work, made him buy the first round of beers.

The two of them were chatting idly when a low roar swelled from the crowd. Heechul looked towards the stage, and there was Junki, bass slung casually over one shoulder, and three other guys, walking out. Junki waved at the crowd, but the two guitarists and the drummer were focused on their soundcheck. Jungmo pointed them out: Sunghee and Woohyun on guitars, Yejun on drums. He added, "Yejun-hyung was the one who went abroad, so we owe him a drink for Junki-hyung being our sessionist."

"Wow, they're all in t-shirts and jeans," said Heechul. "I can see Junki's knees. I'd scream at my team if they prepared an outfit like that for me."

Jungmo retorted, "As expected from an idol," but Heechul stopped paying him any attention because then the stage lights flared on and Kyunghoon was striding to center stage. Gone was the roly-poly of fuzzy sweaters and glasses; here was dark jeans, dark boots, and a dark shirt with rolled-up sleeves and—

Heechul's brain short-circuited at the sight of dark, dark ink curling across Kyunghoon's forearm. "He's got a tattoo," he said dumbly.

"Of course he has a tattoo, he's Junki's friend," Jungmo replied, way too calmly for someone Heechul was going to smack later for withholding such vital information from a company senior.

But more than the clothes, the Kyunghoon Heechul now saw on stage was different from the subdued, almost fragile Kyunghoon Heechul had spent hours with in that cold, serious recording studio. There was a hardness to this Kyunghoon's expression, a leashed ferocity that carved an arrogant cast on his good looks. He adjusted his mic stand and fiddled with his in-ear monitor somberly, indifferent to the screams of "I love you!" "Marry me!" "Take me home!" from female and male audience members alike. A guy behind Heechul told his companion in a fevered state, "Oh my god, Kyunghoon made eye contact with me," which seemed to be borderline hallucinatory, considering that Kyunghoon was at the time conferring with Sunghee.

At a nod from Yejun, Kyunghoon cradled the mic, said, "Good evening, everyone. We are Buzz," and the band burst into life.

They were a wall of sound and power. Yejun drummed with militaristic precision, Sunghee was practically bent in half as he kneeled during his solos, Woohyun flew through intricate riffs with tranquil ease, Junki's bass spun in the air even as its player flawlessly played his basslines, and Kyunghoon sang like the music was flaying him open, all sweet color from his voice stripped away, exposing a raw bleeding despair that had everyone in the room howling along.

It didn't matter that Heechul didn't know any of the songs they were playing, that he could barely understand the lyrics as Kyunghoon sang them. Didn't matter that at least fifty people would instantly kill him if he tried to jump into the moshpit. Didn't matter that his knee ached like a fucker and his eyes stung from the sweat dripping down his face and that he probably would need ice packs and a deep tissue massage to get through his schedule tomorrow—all of his senses were gloriously, blazingly, on fire.

If the sound of Kyunghoon's voice in a Gangnam studio was a jolt of static, here in a packed club in Hongdae, it was a lightning storm.

He muttered in Jungmo's ear, only half-joking, "don't let me bum a cigarette off a stranger," and Jungmo snickered sympathetically.

*

The post-gig buzz (no pun intended) was still coursing through Heechul, and he was raring to fight, or fuck, or both, when Jungmo looked up from his phone and said, "I want to greet Junki-hyung before we leave."

No bouncers guarded the backstage entrance, just a tired club employee who lazily waved them through. Heechul, used to a phalanx of black suits, was unnerved, and wanted to put his face mask on again.

Inside Buzz's waiting room, Junki greeted them with bottles of beer and introductions to the rest of the band. Yejun, preoccupied with supervising his kit's disassembly, merely nodded at them and continued talking to his drum tech. Jungmo gravitated towards Sunghee and Woohyun, and soon the three of them were babbling at each other about pedalboards and stratocasters and all sorts of guitar geekery Heechul couldn't help but tune out.

—and Kyunghoon was nowhere in sight. Junki tapped Heechul's bottle with his own, saying, "Don't worry, he just changed, he'll be back," and ignored Heechul's weak protest of "What are you talking about?" by the simple expediency of turning his back on Heechul and starting a cheerful argument with Jungmo about amps.

When Kyunghoon came back in, all of his rockstar edges had been tucked away inside a t-shirt three sizes too large for him and baggy shorts. He looked damp and exhausted, a drooping flower, and wedged himself, knees on his chest, in a chair by the corner. Heechul set down his untouched beer and drifted closer to his side with a soft, "hey".

Kyunghoon blinked up at Heechul, dazed. "Heechul-sshi? Were you there earlier? I hope you enjoyed our set." There was an appealing scratchiness to his voice that set Heechul's scalp tingling. "God, my throat's gonna be wrecked."

 _I want to wreck the rest of you,_ thought Heechul within the shameless confines of his mind. "That was a good show," he said aloud, faking calmness his still-jittery fingers belied. He shoved his hands into his pockets, added, "One of the best I've seen in a while."

The tips of Kyunghoon's ears, barely visible under his hair, went red, as did his nose. "But your shows—I mean, with your group, they're these huge productions—our little stage's nothing compared to those."

Heechul dropped down on the seat next to Kyunghoon's. "My shows?" he asked, intrigued. "Does this mean you looked up Super Junior videos?" _You told me that you don't pay attention to most pop music._

The blush spread to Kyunghoon's cheeks. "I got curious," he mumbled, and Heechul was seized with the urgent desire to kiss the pout off his face. Hastily, he averted his eyes, and was caught by the sight of Kyunghoon's tattoo. Up close, the ink stood out in stark contrast to Kyunghoon's skin, an elaborate rendering of a stylized tree that might have taken days, if not weeks, to complete.

Kyunghoon must've followed his gaze, because he said, "My mom was so angry when she first saw that. She stopped talking to me for a month, until I made her listen to why I got it."

"Can you tell me—" Heechul asked. "I mean, if you don't mind," and was rewarded with a tiny smile and nod.

Rapt, Heechul watched Kyunghoon trace the roots winding around his wrist, the gnarled trunk and flowering branches, stopping at the fine lines of the leaves that dipped into the hollow at the crook of his arm. "It's about love, the kind that grows in one spot, enduring the sun and rain and cold, always waiting," he said, looking up at Heechul through his eyelashes, as though startled to have opened up to a near-stranger in this way.

Unable to help himself, Heechul reached out and, with his thumb, swiped away a bead of sweat at the corner of Kyunghoon's mouth.

"And this is why I can't leave you alone, hyung," Jungmo suddenly announced behind them, causing the two of them to jump apart. He smirked at Heechul, told Kyunghoon, "Junki-hyung says that you should check if they packed your in-ears, they're almost done putting stuff the van."

Kyunghoon scrambled to his feet, bowed hastily at Jungmo, then Heechul (avoiding his eyes), and left. Heechul watched him go, then pinched Jungmo. "What was that for?" Pinched him again when Jungmo replied, solemnly, "Saving you from yourself."

*

There were a few "Min Kyunghoon"s on social media, but none of them were a man in his early 30s with a messy bowl cut, regrettable posture, and a penchant for sweater paws. Perplexingly, Buzz had no social media either, and their gigs appeared to be announced by Junki on his personal Instagram. There were photos of Kyunghoon in the background of Junki's selcas or taken by fans during performances, but otherwise it was like Kyunghoon was a recluse who only left his house for Buzz or to play with whatever new cute camera filter Junki had discovered.

Buzz's discography was a hodgepodge of covers of bands like The Beatles, Muse, Led Zeppelin, and Robert Palmer; and their own compositions, alternating between lush soundscapes and sparse string arrangements. In all of them, Kyunghoon's voice never lost its melancholy rasp, a knife-like agony that could cut through an unattended heart. _Who hurt you?_ Heechul wondered, and pressed repeat on his music app.

*

Only his dignity of scorning men who tried to get his women friends' details off him stopped Heechul from demanding Junki's number from Jungmo. Not that he thought he could ask Junki for a way to contact Kyunghoon; this weakness, of squarely facing something that wasn't a sure thing, was one he could only acknowledge to himself.

*

Squinting past the harsh fluorescent lights of the convenience store, Heechul tugged the brim of his cap down and slouched his way to the back, neatly avoiding the cashier with the ease of long practice. It had been a long day, and he was ready to go home and beat someone's ass in LoL, but he had a sudden craving for something sweet while on the road.

He stood in front of the display shelves, listlessly rifling through the meager selection of chocolates, when he heard, from the opposite aisle, an extremely familiar voice saying, "You can't possibly want me to buy all of that."

For a second, his mind filled with white noise. Then the world snapped back to technicolor when Kyunghoon rounded the corner, distractedly eyeing random groceries as he listened to someone on his phone. He was turned away from Heechul, registering him merely as a stranger and obstacle as he made his way down the aisle. Heechul could have let him pass, should have let him pass, preoccupied as he was with his own errands. But, as Kyunghoon made to walk past him, some simmering impulse of _look at me, look only at me_ surged through Heechul, and he reached out and grabbed his wrist, right above where an ink root coiled over frail bird-like bones.

Kyunghoon startled, looked back, met Heechul's eyes—

"I'll call you back," Kyunghoon told whoever was on the line, and hung up. "Heechul?" asked, tentative. 

Heechul tipped his cap back and pushed down his face mask. "Kyunghoon," he said back. Felt all of his much-praised wit desert him.

"I caught your shows on TV sometimes," Kyunghoon offered, breaking their awkward silence. "You were funny in all of them and your impersonations were amazing."

"Thanks," Heechul replied, unable to say back, 'I listened to all of your songs and wanted to go back in time and make you the most famous person in Korea.' "The last time we met, I forgot to ask for your number."

"You wanted my number?" asked Kyunghoon, disbelieving. The endearing blush was in full force.

Heechul rubbed his knuckles together, feeling strangely exposed. It struck him that this was the first time in months that he'd seen Kyunghoon in person, their nascent connection through Jungmo and Junki abruptly cut short by the nature of the lives they led (parallel lines, never meeting). Maybe this was the universe giving a nudge to one of its stars.

Kyunghoon waited, patient, and— fuck the CCTV and anybody watching. Before he could think about it any longer, Heechul reached out, cupped Kyunghoon's chin, and pulled him down for a kiss.

Kyunghoon's lips were dry and chapped, and his stubble rasped against Heechul's smooth skin. He made a strangled sound in the back of his throat, barely audible underneath the hum of the refrigerators behind them, but it rang loudly in Heechul's ears, the continuation of an epic ballad that began in Gangnam months ago. Heechul's knees nearly buckled from a sudden wave of longing, and he made to step forward, draw their bodies closer together, but Kyunghoon beat him to it, shaking hands coming up to grip Heechul's shoulders. 

His mouth opened slightly, a hot and wet tease—Heechul had to stop himself from yanking up Kyunghoon's shirt or dropping to his knees or any of the million other satisfyingly indecent acts he wanted to do, just to give Dispatch and the entire world something to really talk about when it came to the controversial Kim Heechul. Before pulling away completely, however, he did briefly suck at Kyunghoon's slick bottom lip, just to witness his eyes darken and his Adam's apple bob spasmodically.

In his jacket pocket, Heechul could feel his phone vibrating. Probably his manager or one of his Kims calling, wondering why oppa was taking so long buying candy in a near-empty store. He ignored it. For once, his schedule could go fuck itself.

"I don't know what I'm doing," Heechul said after a long moment. His hand lingered on Kyunghoon's face, the lightest of touches, but since Kyunghoon looked untroubled by it, Heechul had no inclination of letting go.

"Inappropriately making out in a convenience store?" Kyunghoon joked, then, softly: "I liked it, whatever it is."

"Your songs made me want to break your heart," Heechul confessed. "Is that fucked up?"

"That means my heart was yours to break, doesn't it?" said Kyunghoon, and was startled by his own bold statement. Heechul wanted him in his house, pushed up against his red, red walls, wanted to see if the blush extended all the way down his body. He'd been accused of greed many times during his career by executives, producers, even friends; this was a level of self-indulgence even Heechul thought he wasn't capable of. 

He thumbed the space on Kyunghoon's cheek where he knew the dimple would dent it. It felt a little too early, too fast, but Heechul could imagine himself doing everything possible to make Kyunghoon laugh every single day.

"Third time's the charm," he told himself, and met Kyunghoon's confusion and delight with another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> the meaning of the tree tattoo was taken from buzz's explanation for the song [나무](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fg_nF-JXB2w). the fan who got hyped that he made eye contact with kyunghoon during a show is based on a true story.


End file.
